sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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