It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
