Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
