Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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