So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
