I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize