Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
