I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
