He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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