like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
