she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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