38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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