Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
