i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
