you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
