good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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