Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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