Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
