WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
