I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
