look no pants
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize