So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
