garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize