Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize