does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
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there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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