need another drink. this is the easiest way
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
