Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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