question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
