They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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