Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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