She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.