You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
