if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.