you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.