Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
