Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.