come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
