I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just blew my weed a kiss
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
