Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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