Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
