so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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