Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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