I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
