somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
