There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
