dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
