He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
