she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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