The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
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He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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