She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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