Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
