I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
