When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
