Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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