I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
