I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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