Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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