I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
