Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
