nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
