Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
