Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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