Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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