U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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