Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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