benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
